I’ve been meaning to write about this.I just never seem to get the right words to write it.No.I think i’m telling a lie.
The truth of the matter is that I was afraid what you would think of me.What you would think after reading what goes through my mind.I was afraid of the smirk that would paint your face once you discover I too have those insecurities.#clenched teeth here.
But I decided to write it anyway,at least for the sake of those who share in my insecurities.
We all use the mirror.In my case,I use my mirror any time I find it within my reach.I am a girl you know. I have been getting a certain thought every time I look into the mirror.So you can imagine the number of times this thought has been crossing my mind.Today I could not take it anymore.
Today I’m not going to tell you about the good old stuff we hear about perception(at one point,we all must have come across that picture of a cat looking into the mirror and it sees a lion.)
Hehe.Youu are allowed to laugh at that because the first time I saw it ,it had that ka-effect on me too.I actually went to the mirror and looked into it hoping to see a different girl. You know well what I saw…a girl with flesh and blood!
I am not the girl I was 5 years ago.What I mean is,I am growing older each day.And yes,you too are.Actually,i am saying this while waving my pen at you.It gives me consolation to think that am not alone in this aging process.
My sister used to kid me that she doesn’t want to live past 40 years.She claimed that she doesn’t want to age and develop those wrinkles,grey hair,a bent gait …name them!.I laughed at her back then and I still do laugh at her whenever I remember it.
So,sis i think this post is for you.
I know you learned friends are busy but if you get to read this,reply here below if you still don’t wish to live past 40 years.If the response hasn’t changed…well I don’t know sis.
Every time I hold the mirror,I’ve been trying to create a mental picture of what I will look like when I grow old.I’m talking of grandmother Melodious.
I’m picturing a bubbly old grandmother,a crown of grey hair,retaining the same white teeth and a throaty laughter. Very adored by grandchildren.I think I have a beautiful imagination.Don’t you agree?
Look.I do have my fears even as I picture this.Lots of them at that.I will never be able to walk swiftly as I usually do when I get to age.I will need to adopt a different dressing style, and even maybe hairstyle.I might need to develop extra muscle to fight battles for and with my kids and even my grand kids.
As you are reading this,you might have noticed there is something am trying to speak out on but its kinder stuck in my throat.Could this be the feeling you gentlemen get when you want to ask someone out and can’t find the right words?So you find yourself sipping your juice till the last drop sitted across her having said nothing when the date ends.
Well,that thing is (sigh)…loosing this lovely figure after childbirth.Ahem.Before you throw stones….I love babies.I find them cute and prettily chubby.I love their pretty little fingers,their toothy smiles and their heartfelt belly laughs.
When God gives me permission,I will multiply and fill the earth too.
I have been trying to picture that me with a potty ,fuller body and strutting through the market acquiring new clothes that match my age with me holding ‘mini-me’s little hand.
How will I look at the stretch marks daily and not miss my younger self?What of those sleepless nights filled with baby’s cries?
I don’t know what exactly is going through your head after opening my veins and bleeding for you to see.
But I can tell you for sure ,old age is a beautiful thing.As a matter of fact, despite my fears,I do look forward to it. Yes I do.
What changed my mind was an article I read that taught me not to fear stretch marks or a distorted waistline for they are badges of honor.How do you like that?Badges of honor.
Old age,i’m watching you.You are welcome any day you decide to come knocking,for you are beautiful and you come with a lot more benefits than losses.Actually,No.I don’t think you carry any losses with you.